


The Practical Uses Of A Cat

by Doctor_Who_Cares



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 03:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13472451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Who_Cares/pseuds/Doctor_Who_Cares
Summary: Ciel is not a cat person, but he has found some uses for their cat.





	The Practical Uses Of A Cat

Sebastian wanted a cat, I wanted a dog. We argued for while, but that's nothing new, before getting to a point.

 

"Dogs are more useful they can fetch things, sniff out drugs, sniff out anything really, and they're a man's best friend... besides they like to curl up in bed with you."

 

"You already have _me_ to do all of those things," He had a point. "besides cats can be useful too."

 

"How?"

 

"They get rid of rats and mice, they are good for the health, not to mention stress and..."

 

He went on like that for a while until I finally gave in. We got a cat - she's fourteen weeks and her name is Hetty. Well actually it's _Henrietta Renee Michaelis_. I didn't really believe in Sebastian's reasoning but he can be very persuasive. I decided to compile my own list of the practical uses of a cat; here's my findings thus far.

 

 

** 1 Cats can hide certain...  _ahem_ ... problems **

  
Sebastian's a tease. Sebastian's a  _big_ tease. Sebastian likes to tease me when other people are around. I was having a business meeting - nothing too important – but Sebastian kept leaning close and whispering things to me, running his hands along my thighs under the table and having a good grope. Naturally Mr Stewart had no idea what he was doing Sebastian's not  _that_ stupid. And, for what it's worth, I also didn't show any of what the bastard was doing. Unfortunately some things less in my control started happening and soon i needed a way to cover my lap. 

 

As if on cue Hetty walked in. I wasted no time lifting her up and placing her over my lap. Apart from the occasional moving she solved my problem quite nicely. Even standing up to shake Stewart's hand I held her in my left hand and let her body hang over my _'problem'._

 

**2 Cats can be quite pleasing when you have a** _**'problem'...** _ **provided you go about it the right way**

  
"You hid that well for me." I said scratching under her chin, she started purring... so did i. "That's...  _oooh."_ I'd never noticed the way she vibrated when she purred. i scratched more but it was really when she rolled over, rubbing herself against me that i came.

 

"I've seen Mr Stewart out, I'm sure you need some help young master." I _knew_ that was his plan all along... well to bad for him. I smirked.

 

"No thanks. I _will_ require a change of clothes though." I said dumping, Hetty in his arms. I heard a chuckle.

 

"I think the young master has forgotten about your claws." I stopped dead. I  _had_ forgotten. I cringed at the idea of sharp claws there. Needless to say I haven't made a habit of it.

 

**3 A bookmark**

  
I was in the library when Sebastian called me for dinner, I couldn't find my bookmark. Hetty just strolled in, before lying over my book, curling up happily.

 

"Alright then, I'm going for dinner you just... don't move."

 

She hadn't by the time I'd got back - this one I have used several times.

 

**4 To keep me warm**

  
It was a cold day i was relaxing by the fire. Hetty was too, curled into a little ball on the hearth in front of me. I stretched my feet towards the fire but found something warmer instead. Hetty. Unsure if it would work i carefully slid my feet underneath her. She moved slightly, but didn't seem even a tiny bit bothered.

 

**5 Revenge**

  
Sebastian's a bastard there's no denying it; he's great and i love him and everything, but my god he is a bastard. I've found a pretty good fix for it though, if he's being really annoying - or anyone really - all i have to do is get Hetty's attention with a toy, then throw it at whoever has been annoying me and she will follow it and tear whoever she lands on to shreds. I suppose against Sebastian it's rather a hollow victory, he probably can't even feel it, but it works excellently with other people and it makes me feel better.

 

*** * ***

 

_I found this while I was cleaning the study and thought that I'd add one or two practical uses.- Sebastian (The bastard/tease)_

 

**6 Bug catcher**

  
It's not something Ciel ever likes to admit to, or have get around, but he has a fear of bugs. I doubt I'll ever understand how he can face mobsters, murders and rapists with little difficulty but he freaks out if he sees a ladybird. It completely ruined the romantic picnic I planned for the both of us. Usually he calls me screaming my name until I've gotten rid of whatever it is, but he seems to have found a fix. I can't say I'm that upset about it really - it's quite a nuisance when I'm in the middle of something and he's screaming bloody murder. It was rather funny however when I walked into the library and found Ciel holding Hetty up towards the wall, at arms length, shouting ' _kill it, kill it_ ' over and over again. 

**Author's Note:**

> No cats were harmed in the making of this fic.


End file.
